Today we go all the way to Australia to find and speak to this incredibly dynamic therapist, Isiah McKimmie, who is a sexologist, couples therapist, sex therapist, and coach. If you want to find out what a sexologist is, you’re going to have to wait for the interview. 

It is a huge pleasure to have Isiah here all the way from Australia. I recently started interacting with folks on Instagram and there she was kicking up a storm, teaching folks around the world how to have better sex and better relationships. 

I reached out to Isiah because so much of what I do with individuals, couples, and in my own life has to do with how our bodies, over time, let others in. When it comes to intimate relationships, there’s no hiding in sex. It often reveals our pain, our vulnerability, and as we get close, this is a place that couples often have to work at to get even closer. 

So after spending a week writing about and talking about the body and why, in certain cases when language fails us, sex can often be a place where people find refuge but also where people start to get very confused when it creates an imbalance or it creates a lot of friction in relationships (people can often feel unseen, exposed, and vulnerable), Isiah just brings this incredible lightness of being to the conversation. I was so impressed with the joy and positivity and just lightness that she kept coming back with as we explored this in relationship. 

So, without further ado, here’s my interview with sexologist Isiah McKimmie.

Show Highlights:

  • What brought Isiah to working with couples.
  • Why intimacy is such an important, hot-button issue in relationships.
  • How sexual rejection can feel like abandonment.
  • Why working on connection and communication is key to building sexual intimacy.
  • What a sexologist is.
  • How to deal with the loss of the “honeymoon phase” and move forward to the new phase of your relationship.
  • Why putting in effort is so crucial.
  • How to normalize the ups and downs in the process of building intimacy.
  • How trauma can make safety not feel safe to us.
  • How to navigate the intimacy differences between men and women.

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Supporting Resources:

Mitchell Smolkin is a sought-after clinician, speaker, and author. For media and interview requests please contact his publicist Randy Phipps at For all other inquiries, please send mail to


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