There is a tremendous cliche about men not opening up about their feelings. Over my time as a therapist, I would agree that things have trended in the direction of men often being more reserved, but there are many many exceptions. Men are often significantly more comfortable opening up, taking the lead and providing a safe space to be vulnerable.

 

I do not think the issue is gender. It has a lot more to do with culture, upbringing, and the sophisticated demands that are presented to us as we develop and mature. In some cases, it might be quite fine if one does not open up. In more rural and agricultural settings, the “woke” urban landscape where authenticity and boundaries are overused buzzwords, has no meaning; human beings can go about their business without the same anxieties to produce content from their internal emotional lives.

 

That said, it is clear that for many of us, and in many cultural settings, the ability to metabolize one’s experiences through language is vital. It is the key to fulfilling relationships both at work and romantically and it also helps the physical body protect itself from overwhelm and stress. My podcast this week was a heartfelt exploration with Furkhan Dandia who has been an inspiring leader to many men who have not had the experience of confronting their inner lives in relationships with others. I think there is tremendous value in these evolutions in communities where clearly it helps to create safety to reflect on the challenges of life, I hope you enjoy it.

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